Keeping abreast of the competition

  • 2005-01-26
  • By Steve Roman
TALLINN - It's encouraging to see how Tallinn is developing into one of Europe's capitals of culture. With increasing regularity the city plays host to internationally renowned symphony orchestras as well as the elite of the world's opera stages. Soon, however, the city will be playing host to a rather different affair.

That's right, it's time once again for Miss Estonian Boob, the annual competition that has become 's believe it or not 's widely regarded as a staple event for Tallinn's high society. What might well make some Western eyes balk is here regarded by many as a pinnacle of sophistication

The event, which takes place at the Parlament nightclub on Feb. 3, is essentially a beauty pageant. As the name suggests though, this particular pageant emphasizes one specific aspect of the female anatomy.

"It's a breast beauty contest but this doesn't mean that size matters," explained Auris Ratsep of Secret Service, the promotion agency behind the event.

The show centers on 10 finalists, preselected by a 20-strong panel of judges mostly from the fashion and modeling industries.

As befits this type of arts gathering, aficionados in attendance will also be treated to the Wonderbra Underwear Show, organized by one of the event's main sponsors. In this part of the show the finalists will parade the latest creations of Wonderbra.

The purpose of this, we must assume, is to give audience members a chance to ponder over the wonders of this appearance-altering bra technology. Presumably many people in the audience will be taking notes.

The Real Men Show will offer some, well, alternative entertainment and will give the men in the audience the opportunity to refill their glasses while the women take their turn to ogle the on-stage antics. It's almost worth going just to see what exactly constitutes a "real" man.

But all of this is, of course, just a diversion until the so-called superfinal, for which there will be no bras or any other tops worn. For some reason no sponsor could be found for this part of the show, which is quite an achievement in the sponsor-crazy world of the Baltics

In any case, this is where the show gets down to the bare essentials. Taking it as a given that each one of the finalists wants world peace, the judges let each finalist launch into a two- or three- minute topless dance performance of her own choosing as a means of ascertaining the quality of her breasts.

At the awards ceremony, whoever receives the most points from the judges will receive 10,000 kroons (640 euros) in cash, tax-free. One of the other sponsors, the SL Ohtuleht daily, will be handing out its own prize, the winner of which will be determined by a readers' survey in the run-up to the show.

Finally the night closes with the Soho Medical Show, which will no doubt be educational as well as entertaining. Tickets for the event cost 100 kroons, and are available at Piletilevi outlets and Statoil stations.