Dombrovskis steps down

April 1, RIGA -- Latvian Prime Minister Valdis Dombrovskis has announced that he will resign from his post as prime minster, admitting that he had made "grave policy errors".

Dombrovskis, who was elected for a second term last year, said he was surprised to find out that his decision to raise taxes and cut social benefits had decreased the standard of living in the country.

"One day I just looked around and I realized, oh man, this place is in bad shape," Dombrovskis told journalists. "What we need to do is get rid of all these negative policies, print some more money and just spread the love."

The former prime minister said that after resigning from politics he plans on starting a commune in the Eastern Latvian region of Latgale. "Someplace we can really get in touch with nature," he said.

Following Latvian tradition, oligarchs Andris Skele, Aivars Lembergs and Ainars Slesers met at the Riga City Zoo to choose the country's new head of government. The three puppet-masters eventaully settled on Bobo the giraffe to take over until new elections could be rigged.