Five ways to be a better person in the new year

  • 2003-12-18
1)Befriend trees. Trees are very lonely and alienated, so go on, hug them, chat with them, kiss them even, and you'll soon have a forest of new friends. Beware though - some are prone to whispering behind your back. 2)Recycle earwax. It may sound gross, but natural resources are precious. Think of all the romantic, candle-lit evenings you'll have (and the santims you'll save).3)Smile more. The Baltics' need more sunlight, so flash your luminous smile to brighten up people's days. But beware of grinning at drunken Russians, or the sun might quickly set.4)Abandon cell phones. Go on, ret...
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