Successful entrepreneurs are assertive

"For every person who climbs the ladder of success, there are a dozen waiting for the elevator," - K. Griffith

Harvey's small business failed to click. Like his former career it was going nowhere. He either said yes - to keep the peace with his customers and employees or, losing his patience, he lashed out and created ill will. Harv did not understand the importance of being assertive .

Successful entrepreneurs for the most part are assertive. They do not have a problem in asking for what they want, or saying no to demands by others that are not in their best interest. They feel secure in their actions and are willing to accept the risk of confrontation. They have the courage of their convictions. They know the price of leadership is sometimes standing alone.

What does it mean to be assertive? It is the emotional ability to assert your rights, to express yourself, and to stand up for yourself and what you believe in. It is to be able to declare who you are, what you feel and think. It involves openness, honesty, and firmness. It is an active approach to the problems of life as opposed to an unsuccessful passive approach. People who are not assertive tend to be passive, inhibited, and submissive. Not admirable qualities for an entrepreneur.

Assertiveness is acting in your own best interest. It is the ability to function at ease in a variety of personal relationships. It is the ability to function as a leader and manager.

Assertiveness is setting limits on time and energy. It is having the inner strength to withstand criticism, put downs, or anger. It is expressing honest feelings in a comfortable manner. It means the ability to disagree, to show anger, to show affection, to admit fears, and to be spontaneous- all with self-confidence.

Assertiveness is the ability, to demand your personal rights, to be able to express your opinions, and to have the courage to cause change. Assertive people rarely play the role of victim.

Assertive behavior is a positive attitude and a self-affirmation that places value on the other people in your life. It will help you to a happier and more fulfilling life.

The most important benefit is freedom from anxiety. With the amount of stress you will have from your business, anything that lessens tension and anxious feelings will be beneficial. Developing assertiveness tends to reduce the anxieties you may feel in relationships with others. Worrying too much, about what you are going to say and do in handling any particular situation will make you anxious. Learning appropriate assertive responses will reduce those anxious feelings.

Another important benefit is emotional freedom. When we feel restricted and limited in our freedom to respond to others, we are limiting our personal freedom. People who "walk on eggs" with others are not spontaneous. No one should be subject to the domination, whim, and aggression of others. If you are unable to be assertive, you are not free.

Becoming assertive is not easy. If you have a passive personality, and wish to be more assertive, you can do so, as many have proved. However, it will take effort, and a sustained desire to do so. If you feel you have problems in communicating or feeling confident enough to be open and honest with others, you may need some training.

If you have the time and money, the easiest way is to see a psychologist specializing in such behavior therapy. However, as you probably need every dollar for your business, you may have to rely on your ability and determination to learn to become assertive.

You may wish to check with your local community college. If you cannot locate or attend a course, visit your library or local bookstore. You will find a variety of titles on the subject.

A few suggestions:

1. To begin with, you must have a sincere desire to change your behavior.
2. To change your reaction to people you must be willing to assume emotional risk.
3. Be prepared to surprise those who know you, as they will not be expecting your responses.
4. Start gradually. Assume small risks at first, which allow you to develop confidence in your ability to handle the challenge.
5. Be easy on yourself. Accept the fact there is no perfect response to every situation.
6. Practice being fair and honest in dealings with others.
7. Do not use gimmicks or pat answers to solve problems.
8. Place a value on yourself.
9. Do not be upset if not everyone likes you. Do you like everyone?

If you do try to change, learning new behavior skills will require effort and practice, it will not be easy: I know from experience. However, a major benefit will be more direct and open communication with all you deal with.