Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon

Director: Michael Bay

The first “Transformers” movie was a big, dumb action flick whose only saving grace was that it managed to have some fun moments. The second was an overlong mess, a jumped up toy advert with no redeeming features whatsoever. Would the third in the series be any different? Well, there’s an old saying: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” With “Transformers 3,” Michael Bay attempts to fool the audience once again. And shame on anyone who falls for it.

After the events of the first two films, Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBoeuf, who does his usual shtick of being alternately nerdy and heroic) finds himself with a new job and new girlfriend Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who is the replacement eye candy for Megan Fox who was fired from the franchise for comparing Michael Bay to Hitler). He soon becomes embroiled in a plot with his old extraterrestrial friends as it transpires that the dark side of the moon hides a terrible secret from the planet Cybertron. Soon, along with the Autobots and the might of the US military, he finds himself battling to save the Earth once again.

Whilst it tries to include a more coherent plot – there are conspiracy theories and intrigue throughout – this still boils down to a bunch of robots smashing the hell out of each other for a couple of hours. Undoubtedly the special effects are good, but when large pieces of metal start flying past you for the millionth time it becomes dull. And when large machines beating each other up become dull, you know you’ve got a problem.

Whilst it manages to tone down some of the overt right-wing militarism that caused the second film to leave such a bad taste in the mouth, this is still a case of style over substance and even the likes of John Malkovich and Frances McDormand fail to raise this above anything other than average.

To say it’s not as bad as the second film would be damning it with faint praise. This is cinema of overindulgence and if Bay isn’t careful, audiences are soon going to be suffering from a very bad case of indigestion.