In search of the perfect Baltic burger

The burger has a bad rap not only in the Baltics, but throughout the continent. Mention this icon of American cuisine anywhere in Europe, and you will hear a tirade of condemnation: "Junk food!" "Hogwash!" "Exactly why Americans are so fat!"Well, biased we may be, but we emphatically disagree. Most Europeans are so ignorant of what a true hamburger is that they fail to recognize they eat it regularly, only in a much different form. For if a typical burger contains ground beef (minced meat for our British readers), bread, tomato, onion, lettuce, pickle and perhaps a slice of cheese - items most carnivores eat on a weekly basis - then many Europeans are regularly burger eaters. So what's the problem?

Basically, there are two problems. First, in the minds of most Europeans, the hamburger is inextricably associated with fast food, or a certain chain of fast-food restaurants. We won't mention any names, but this is not what a true aficionado sees when he conjures up the image of a juicy burger. Secondly, in many places, especially East European countries, it is difficult to find what we would describe as a real, mouth-watering, appetite-whetting, gut-slamming hamburger. The Baltics, which are still learning the art of the pizza, are case in point.
Seriously hamburger-deprived, a small group of burger-addicted expats set out across the Baltics three months ago to find not only a good burger, but the best. (Admittedly, this was an abashedly American thing to do, but homesickness, alas, has many deviant manifestations.) Below is the list of places visited in alphabetical order.
Let us know what you think and send any comments to [email protected]

A. Suns
3.70 euros
You will find no better burger in the Baltics. For both value and taste, A.Suns' is simply the best - buns down. We don't know their secret - nor do we want to. Every last burger detail is executed to perfection, so much so that it is our duty to inform the hamburger-starved folks lost in the wilderness of pelmeni and crepe joints to know that salvation can be found at this Tex-Mex establishment on Elizabetes Street in Riga. (We even spied a minister lunching here, if that means anything.)

Amarillo
5.7 euros
The Big Burger hamburger at Amarillo is accompanied with a portion of french fries neatly piled at a large plate next to the sauce dish. Apart from two large beef cutlets, the burger features cheddar cheese, marinated red onion, green lettuce, barbecue sauce, chili mayonnaise and lime-yogurt sauce. For the price there's nothing better within a one-mile radius in the Estonian capital. Big Burger's younger brothers, Chicken Burger and Hot Turkey Burger, are otherwise identical except for the meat. Somehow, though, we find all beef-substitutes to be heretical.

Arizona Saloon
8.2 euros
The most expensive, and perhaps the largest, non fast-food burger in Tallinn town is available at this otherwise cheesy pub equipped with a couple of sofas to keep the right to call itself a saloon. The giant chicken burger is served with mango and jalapeno salsa, a true challenge for burger conservatives. Get the window seat to let the hundreds of the Viru Street bypassers feel envious. Or regretful.

Club Havana
4.7-euro
Club Havana's modest chicken burger (does this not seem contradictory) is stuck in the menu between grilled salmon and grilled chicken. At least it doesn't seem overpriced, like everything else these days in Tallinn. Plenty of bargain liquid - two drinks for the price of one - will help wash any meal down.

DeLacy's
4.25 euros
Eating a burger for lunch in an Irish pub can at times seem awkward, but De Lacy's in the heart of Riga's Old Town tries to make the experience as pleasant as possible. The burger is well coo-ked in a spicy sauce that slightly subtracts from its natural value. The fries, to be sure, are superior.

El Carlito
3.80 euros
Perhaps we went there on the wrong day, or perhaps the cook can't stand The Baltic Times, or perhaps the alignment of the constellations was disjointed. For whatever reason, the flame-broiled El Carlito burger in downtown Riga was dry and tough and definitely a disappointment. Washing it down required two glasses of Coke each.

Lidojosa Varde
4.40 euros
The Flying Frog is how it translates from Latvian, and while this airborne amphibian's burger was tasty, it was nevertheless slightly overpriced. But for the wealthy or desperate, this is as good as place as any to find hamburger refuge in Riga. Strongly recommended, but if you want mustard, be sure to ask the waitress twice.

Metropolis
2 euros
Kaunas is, arguably, Lithuania's most American city, so what better setting for munching on a hamburger than smack in the middle of pedestrian Laisves Aleja? The burger experience in the restaurant's outdoor seating area is eerily American, if for no other reason than to watch the passing Kaunas residents clad in Nike sneakers and University of Michigan T-shirts. Pricewise, Metropolis' burger has the competition beat. Highly recommended.

The Pub
2.6 euros
The unrivaled king of ex-pat standbys, The Pub is Vilnius' most obvious spot to find a burger. In fact, The Pub holds a virtual monopoly on an entire range of American standards, from club sandwiches to French dip. However, burgers aside, it's ironic that food considered quick and easy - i.e., cheap - in America is, relatively speaking, expensive at The Pub.

Radisson SAS
10.45 euros
Ah, a burger among the suits. A burger served on a tablecloth with pressed napkins. A burger to break the bank... Definitely designed for the thick-walleted, the Radisson burger in Riga is nevertheless sumptuous, containing the freshest lettuce, tomato and pickle, though annoyingly skimpy on the fries. Put it this way: If you happen to be starving, lost and with a pocket full of lats in Pardaugava, don't think twice.

R.I.F.F.
7 euros
Among the handful of main courses this upscale Tallinn restaurant and club offers, there's only one treat for burger fans. Called the RIFF burger, it features a piece of chicken, guacamole, red onion and fruit salsa between the buns. With an exorbitant price tag, the burger is also served with chips and slaw. Oh, boy...!

T.G.I. Friday's
5.90 euros
A client has every right to expect a real burger in this formulaic Riga Old Town restaurant imported straight from the States (via Moscow, but who's tracking?). It's juicy, it comes with different toppings, and it's so damned delectable that we're going there regularly now after payday. You can do no wrong ordering the all-beef patty here.