10 things not to say to a Latvian cop

  • 2006-05-03
1) "I know my rights." Nothing antagonizes the police more than invoking abstract concepts such as "rights."
2) "In my country a cop earns 10 times more than you." The Latvian police are poorly paid and don't they know it.
3) "But I'm an American citizen." Like they care.
4) "But I'm a British citizen." Great, you've just given them a field day.
5) "I like a man in uniform." The police perform their roles too zealously as it is. Don't encourage them.
6) "You are truly kind, caring and decent." The Latvian police are extremely skilled in the art of sniffing out bullshit.
7) "Can I make a contribution to your pension fund?" Corruption is theoretically a thing of the past.
8) "Well name your price then." We repeat: corruption is theoretically a thing of the past.
9) "But I only have 200 euros on me." Have you been listening to us at all?
10) Don't urinate or vomit in public. The police do not take kindly to such acts and will throw their voluminous book at you if you do.